I ran (walked) my first Warrior Dash yesterday.  The fact that I call it my first guarantees that I will be doing this again!  About halfway up the mountain I began talking to Jesus!  And planning an escape route that I could take and no one would notice that I had given up!  I didn’t spend too much time entertaining these thoughts!  lol.....  When we got to the first obstacle I remembered feeling relief that I no longer had to hike up that ski slope.  The relief was short lived as I began to panic at the fear that I have of falling.  Thanks to the wonderful women in this gym I made it over that one!  I began to enjoy this grueling course.  I did have some trouble with the climbing obstacles due to my fear of heights and falling but Danielle, Diane, Sarah and Paul would not let me fail!  As I got to the end where I could see the crowds and smoke from the fire jumps I couldn’t help but feel the overwhelming feeling of accomplishment.  I had done it!  I didn’t quit!  I didn’t die!

Tomorrow is my 16th month sober, and my 4th month without a cigarette!  16 months ago I would have never WANTED to do anything like this.  I wouldn’t have ever wanted to train for this.  I would have written the thought of this off as crazy.  The things that I accomplish in sobriety are not great feats of skill.  They are not heroic.  They are normal every day things that I took for granted for years.  Everything I complete successfully without a drink is information and experience to draw from in the future.  I can look back on this day when I can’t get out of bed because class was tough the day before!  I can draw hope from this experience when I start to say that I can’t do something.  I am so proud of what I have done!  I know I needed a lot of help and encouragement, but I DID IT! 

If you had told me that life could be this good 16 months ago………I would have never believed you!

Catherine Mars